Why SSBB is unrealistic

I was never sure if this idea was worth making or not, but my beloved *numanumaeh told me it was a good idea, so here it is! I'm not sure who to feel bad for though. ^_^U

Kirby and Bowser © Nintendo
Art © *BrokenTeapot

... Oh, and if you don't really get the pun, let's just say it has something to do with weight.